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I forgot to slip into town incognito, and Sucroseman and one of his sidekicks, Wheatboy, had been waiting for just such an opportunity. These caped crusaders, hypnotized by the super-villain IrresistibleBloatableSyborg (okay, so she can’t spell) to think I was her doppelganger, lie in wait for me in local bakeries and grocery stores. When I’m not looking at the checkout, or busy perusing the goodies behind the showcase – window shopping only – they would “attack” one of my carry bags.
Arriving home, tired and hungry, there it would be, surrounded by a golden glow, flashing that alluring smile – a sugary treat! I was very distracted this week, so it was easier than usual for them to launch such a sneak attack. The only thing that saved me from some delightful frozen concoction skillfully planted by the other boy wonder – Lactoseboy – was the heat. Not planning to do the full shopping routine, I hadn’t brought along the cooler bag with freezer packs.
Of course, the dynamic duo won this round with kick to the gut, a wheeze in the chest, and a lump in the throat. Was it worth it for two days of my favo(u)rite bran muffins and cinnamon sugar cake donuts (one of each a day)? At the time, yes, enjoyed alongside a cup of good, strong coffee colo(u)red a wonderful deep beige by light cream.
Now, several days later, with memories that luscious taste superseded by continuing sensitivities, bloating, and such, I’m not so sure. I must remember my disguise kit for the next trip to town. I’ll take a page from Inspector Clouseau’s book. Stay tuned: same sucrose channel, same sucrose time.
* References to the campy 1960s version of Batman appear throughout. MeTV has been showing episodes on Saturday night, right after Get Smart.
Phylor's Blog
pain, poetry, bipolar, prose (and a little whimsy on the side)
Oh I can’s wait to read the Dr. Who campy post. You must refer to the Tardis…it’s bigger on the inside. I think I often believe my stomach is bigger on the inside, after all, look at all the stuff I put in there!
A very CUTE post! I do give in to sugar…not much…but since I found out I’m fructose intolerant I can have sucrose….but not splenda or honey, or so many other things. But I don’t do much sugar, it has been easy to say no to that for a long time. I have one sweet thing a day. And I’m happy to say, I have beaten the Gluten Monster! He no longer taunts me….oh hell that’s not true. he does taunt me, every time the Krispy Kreme “Hot Donuts Now” sign comes on…..or many other times…..lately, when i see angel food cake.
But I do not give in. He may tempt me, he may possess my dreams, but no I will not give in, the pain and more pain…and ick….well it’s just not worth it!
Then I’ll some how get a crumb, and I didn’t even enjoy it, and I got glutened by the Gluten Monster…..at least you enjoyed yours.
Cheers!
When I was younger, I didn’t like cake, pies, cookies much. We didn’t have dessert, and occassionly (spelling), there might be cookies in the house. Chocolate covered marshmallow or coconut with chocolate drizzle — detect a theme. My father always said I could have any sort of cake for my birthday, as long as it was chocolate, lol. I remember ice cream cakes from Dairy Queen with a layer of chocolate. I did like ice cream — and still do!
Never had a Krispy Kreme donut — around here it’s Dunkin. In Canada, we have Tim Horton’s. Donuts with maple icing are my weakness. I love all things maple and use it to sweeten my yogurt, when I bake muffins (if I’m adding a sweetner), etc. I like the dark, amber kind which is cheaper! I have a place where I can buy it very cheaply!
With me, gluten seems to be a trigger for IBS and stomach issues. I can eat oats for some reason, and have oatmeal for breakfast. I hate milk so I never liked cereal and milk.
I’m making myself hungry — better go eat an apple. It’s fall, so the honey crisp apples are available — at about 3 x the price of last year! So, it goes from the fruit category to the treat category!
You may be able to eat oats alright because they are really gluten free, the only gluten they get is through cross contamination….like they grow a field of oats near a field of wheat…or ship things in the same trucks. That kind of thing. But it’s not as much gluten, and some brands aren’t certified gluten free, but still don’t grown near wheat and ship only oats in containers….but it’s expensive to get certified and it’s hard! If the land ever had wheat growing there, you can forget it. But most of us would not react to it.
I eat certified GF oats. But have eaten McCain’s steel cut oats with no problems.
it’s mostly GI triggers for me too, except when I stopped eating it almost every symptom they said was fibromyalgia also went away.
I was blood tested positive for Celiac, then tested negative, I’ve had a colonoscopy but it would have been wrong because I hadn’t been eating gluten for years. and recently I had a test for auto-immune markers and it said I have none?? So I don’t guess I have Celiac, even though I had the skin rash that only people with Celiac is supposed to have, and it went away with the gluten.
All I know now is it hurts, I won’t eat it. (but I have been tempted to try recently after that last test.)
Good luck finding the right diet needs for you.
I know more about this stuff than I should!
xo
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Thanks! It comes from watching too much TV. I have another post coming — writing it this morning that got it’s inspiration from an rerun episode of Dr. Who on BBB in America, no less.
Oh my gosh! LOVE the post!