I have an affinity for that phrase; I got it from a woman I met in a group home for folks with special challenges. I was a mentor/buddy for one of the residents, and her special friend there used to say that before my pal and I would head out shopping, to a movie, or whatever else we had planned.
And, for the last two weeks, that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling; relapsing; collapsing; falling backwards about the hit the floor hard. I thought the addition of a new med for my intense and persistently increasing headaches was to blame, but I picked the wrong one as culprit. Not the generic version of topomax as I thought. No, it’s the short course of prednisone I’m on to avoid antibiotics! To paraphrase my pcp, it can make “sane” people “psychotic;” too bad she didn’t warn me! (She can be a bit scattered, and she often needs the hug more than I give her at the end of the appointment than I do!)
So, she left the decision up to me. Hang in there with the crazy pills (which are helping with the inflammation) for the few days left on the prescription. Or start the antibiotics now (as there is still a huge amount of pressure and pain in the left sinus area I thought was perhaps breakthrough from my nerve issues or the worsening of the osteoarthritis in my jaw/cheekbone).
When I see my medicating psychiatrist on Saturday, I’ll tell her about the prednisone, the relapse, and see what she thinks. Maybe my meds need tweaking, or maybe we’ll play wait and see.
Whatever I choose – antibiotics, finishing the prednisone, tweaking my psych meds. I know that I am not necessarily watching another total self-destruction and inner explosion; just having a hopefully short detour on the highway to recovery. Now to just hang in there!
image thanks to simsim at flickr.com
