one of my least favo(u)rite things: a photo essay with running commentary

I may have mentioned the carpet in my mother’s house in previous blogs (too lazy to go back and check) but after vacuuming it this morning, I decided it is currently my least favo(u)rite thing.

It came with the house; thankfully my parents replaced it in the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom. Underneath is plywood; not some gorgeous hardwood floor. If I had the money, I would rip it up and replace it with laminate flooring.

I’ve alwaysDSCN0856 called it “whore house red” and am convinced it was left over from a reno of a brothel. A friend maintains it was supposed to have adorned the floors of a funeral parlo(u)r: you can decide for yourself.

After almost 20 years (of my parents’ ownership: know the carpet goes back to the original owners), it has only worn slightly in high traffic spots. This rug would survive the nuclear holocaust (along with the cockroaches who don’t reside here yet, I should add) .





Vacuuming it was always a royal pain: the carpet attracts dirt (a disturbing photo of that to follow), and this was, one winter visit ago, the only half-decent vacuum available (I didn’t photo the other rejects down in the basement).



Note the duct tape: there always was a roll of duct tape in the house even before Red Green made it famous. witandwisdomtourposter

I bought a bright red, light weight, whip around the upstairs, maybe mom could even use it vacuum. DSCN0853Mom never used it, but I sure did. Poor thing probably needs a new filter basket. The next pictures are not for the weak of heart or stomach. And yes, dust mites were harmed in the making of these pictures.

DSCN0845 DSCN0858 So the red carpet remains one of my least favo(u)rite things. Oh, to win the lottery and be able to have a “laying laminate floor” party.


11 thoughts on “one of my least favo(u)rite things: a photo essay with running commentary

  1. phylor January 15, 2011 / 11:36 pm

    True, but the carpet really was way over the top. When my parents bought the house, every room upstairs, except the kitchen had the same red/black monster in it. Thankfully, my parents switched out the carpet in the three bedrooms and bathroom!
    Guess I’m just a bare-floor-kinda-girl!


  2. greenleafmassage January 15, 2011 / 11:29 pm

    Poor dust mites! Well, what’s interesting about laminate anyway? Red funeral home carpet, now that’s interesting…and its extensive list of vacuum suitors…what broom story for a laminate flooring could compete?


  3. hibernationnow August 10, 2010 / 6:08 pm

    I was (past tense) looking forward to going out to dinner…..until I saw those nasty photos. good blog, good structure, good explanation. I feel nauseous! Good work!!


  4. phylor August 10, 2010 / 11:26 am

    Thanx for the tip on laminate flooring. So, I don’t need to pull a Tom Sawyer after all :)


  5. beaknfeather August 10, 2010 / 9:18 am

    Wow, it is a monster. Who knows what lurks beneath those stronger-than-steel top fibers?
    As one who has laid a laminate floor, let me assure me that you wouldn’t need a party, just one or two folks who have strong knees (and lower back). It’s not that difficult, but a little tedious.
    That carpet is a piece of work, no doubt about it! ;)


  6. phylor August 9, 2010 / 1:14 pm

    first phrase makes no sense. but then today, i’m not sure i make a whole lot of sense.


  7. Ellen August 9, 2010 / 12:49 pm

    Perfectly hideous. I can see why it makes the list.


    • phylor August 9, 2010 / 1:13 pm

      It’s it though! And you’re seeing it without the usual white speckles, pieces of “I don’t know what,” and space dust (which I maintain glows in the dark ;) )


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