I don’t wake up thinking . . .

I don’t wake up thinking today will be
a pain day
a crying day
an angry day
a disillusioned day
an anxious day
a hypomanic day
a worrying day
a backwards looking day
a beat-myself-up day
an inside day
an in-bed-a lot day

I don’t wake up thinking today will be

a less pain day
a happy day
a calm day
a dreams-might-come-true day
a confident day
a stable day
a positive day
a looking forwards day
a kind-to-myself day
an outside day
a mobile day

I don’t wake up thinking today will be . . .


12 thoughts on “I don’t wake up thinking . . .

  1. Food For The Journey June 27, 2013 / 12:52 pm

    Have you ever woken up thinking, “Crap, I’m awake, I wonder if this will be my last day.” And then I gather courage to ask God to make it true.


    • phylor June 28, 2013 / 5:31 am

      I try and muddle through if I can. There are some days that are very hard, and I can understand how you can feel like that.
      Perhaps, through your own faith and spirituality, you will find a different hope — that God will help you through the day, even if you don’t feel like it.
      Try using the strength to say, “I’ll try and make one more day.”
      I am sorry you are feeling so low. I do understand how depression can make the world an exceptionally bleak place.
      I stopped by your blog, and read some of what you have written. I have the kind of chronic depression that goes with bipolar 2 which means that antidepressants are less likely to have a positive effect, or if there is a positive effect, it doesn’t last long. So, too, have a very long list of antidepressants that I’ve tried to no avail. I had thought it was something to do with my system or chronic depression that caused this effect. It wasn’t until the bipolar 2 diagnosis that I found this out.
      I’m not suggesting you have bipolar disorder, just that I understand how it feels to start each new antidepressant with the hope that it will have a long-lasting positive effect on my depression.
      I’m still depressed — the right formula has yet to be found. What I hope for is not feeling any more down that I do now. Perhaps your faith will help you find answers to your questions. Spirituality can sometimes provide answers and give inner and outer strength.


    • phylor June 23, 2013 / 6:13 pm

      Thanks! I hope to drop by your blog really soon.


  2. mindlovemisery June 23, 2013 / 7:01 am

    The new prompt is up its a free share so you can share anything at all including an older poem if you like =)


  3. mo June 19, 2013 / 8:25 pm

    Boy oh boy Phylor……I couldn’t have said it better. Sad that some of us don’t know what tomorrow will bring and how we will feel when we wake up,if we were lucky to fall asleep the night before. I am re-posting this too…..too good not to share.


  4. wendy June 19, 2013 / 4:08 pm

    No…we wake up and take stock at how we are doing and then think….I have to pee.

    Sorry, I was sitting here thinking, what do I think first thing in the morning when I wake up….Bathroom!
    Then Stuart starts asking me, if my head hurts, if I’m dizzy, if I’m hungry……I keep telling him to let me wake up and start to feel first, but every morning…same thing.

    I hope it’s a good day.


    • phylor June 19, 2013 / 7:50 pm

      I let hubby have the kitchen to himself (he makes his own lunch — I used to, but he got so much in the habit because I was away so much). That hour can be very bad, especially if I haven’t made my first cup of coffee. Bathroom usually comes later (because I get up in the night!).
      Today was an odd day; I’m not exactly what it all meant, but there seems to be order to the disorder.


    • phylor June 19, 2013 / 7:53 pm

      By all means! This one just wrote itself — I really didn’t think or self-edit, which is not the usual way I write.
      It also may have been my subconscious trying to get me to remember I had a phone call appointment with a consular that I had completely forgot about. What a scramble — I thought it was Tuesday (Tuesday wasn’t a good day; no wonder I tried to forget it.


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