I want my life back: 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Towards Healing: I want my life back.


That’s the assumption. Once healed, things will be just like before. Better even. Light after darkness. After all, there have been so many heart-felt and desperate prayers to have what has been stolen, returned.

An integral part of the healing process is realizing, and accepting, that you aren’t going back to the person you were before. You can’t. You are a new person, perhaps a better person, because of what you have experienced. That you are not getting back what you’ve lost is painful.

Learn to accept. Learn to rejoice in the new you. You are not so foreign, so much of a stranger, you wouldn’t recognize yourself in a mirror. The image that shines back, with the quirky smile, is different enough to want to explore. You haven’t forgotten your old life, you’re just living a new version now.


I have a prayer request (in the manner of your spirituality).

My brother-in-law on the west coast has leukemia of the spine. He needs a blood marrow transplant to live. His siblings weren’t matches, so now it’s the bone marrow registry with 22.5 million donors world-wide.

At best, his chance of finding a match in time is 1 in 500. Without a match, he has about 2 years at the most. He is a sweet, gentle man, with a great sense of humor, excellent story teller and generous with his time.

Please pray (in the manner of your spirituality) that a blood marrow donor is found, and my brother-in-law receives the blood marrow transplant he requires.

Thank you.


3 thoughts on “I want my life back: 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

  1. summerstommy2 October 5, 2014 / 6:07 pm

    I like that philosophy. Works for me in that I have embraced the newer versions of me as i have come to realise there is no old me that is worth returning to just a new one who has learnt from the sins of the past.
    I shall think and pray for your BIL. I hope he gets what he requires.


    • phylor October 6, 2014 / 8:15 am

      Thank you.
      I’ve never put out such a general prayer request — I know that people “pray” in their own ways. Good thoughts, thinking about, etc.
      I think it’s important to understand that healing doesn’t mean you get your life back; you get a different life. There are several earlier lives I wish I had back so their endings might be less painful. But, healing isn’t painless.


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