can I really be the poet

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now. B. Dylan
I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.
B. Dylan

can I really be the poet : November 1981

(from unpublished: “women in fur coats don’t cry: tales of the waif child 1971-1981” by a younger me)

can I really be the poet

thin, hollow-eyed

blown in waif coat

from heart to pocket


can I find refuge

in ink, dark garrets

under eaves of pretension and fear

 

can I reach for a lover

at midnight bell’s tolling

more substantial than

vapour breaths & wine

 

can I put pain in my knapsack

and carry it’s ashes

from sea to mountain and sky

 

am I a Cohen,

a Dylan

a woman

or just the

prophet of my doom & despair

 

can you give me

tomorrow

the answers to questions

that beat on my window at dawn

© phylor (pseudonym)

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12 thoughts on “can I really be the poet

    • phylor January 22, 2015 / 2:26 pm

      Thanks, Colline. I’m glad you liked it.
      This is one of many poems I put in a blank book in 1981. The poems pre-1981 were highlights from a now long-lost scribbler of poems. Most of the post-1981 to about 1985–1987 (when I stopped writing poetry on a regular basis) poems are gone. On old computer media (floppy disc anyone?), lost in one of two floods in my mother’s basement, or just plain lost. Somehow, this one book pulled through. And, yes the title was called “women in fur coats don’t cry” — a comment made by friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Colline January 22, 2015 / 6:27 pm

        All your work lost – such a pity! At least this survived :)

        Like

  1. Amrit Sinha January 22, 2015 / 3:05 am

    This is lovely …. the idea of individualism … love it :-)

    Like

    • phylor January 22, 2015 / 2:28 pm

      Thanks. I’m happy you found my poem lovey! :-) (-: (have trouble getting a happy face to appear!)
      Guess, I’ve always been pretty independent, and rather unique. My individualism comes from that mix.

      Like

  2. summerstommy2 January 21, 2015 / 11:49 pm

    You are who you are. Since 1981 I am sure you have discovered more about yourself. Poetry is about putting words in the order we feel most express how we feel at that particular moment. I think you are brave in publishing this poem, mine from that period are no where near as good. As we discover as we grow, the words will flow, they will reflect the we we are now, as well as continuing the great exploration our ourselves through the words we choose. That was all rather philosophical wasn’t it. Have a good day.

    Like

    • phylor January 22, 2015 / 2:35 pm

      Philosophical, but I understood/like your observations.
      My now voice has echoes of my past voice. Many of the themes from a book filled with my emotions 35 years ago, still are my emotions now. I really am a product of my past.

      Like

        • phylor January 23, 2015 / 12:30 pm

          I agree.
          What I need to do is to let the past stop haunting my present in those emotional areas where it does See life through my more stabile eyes, Examine the negative I carry forward that can make a today difficult and future something that is so frightening I try not to/refuse to think about.

          Like

          • summerstommy2 January 23, 2015 / 7:16 pm

            I am sure you know why the past is haunting your present and holding you as it is. Moving forward is hard no one would say otherwise and I am no one to offer advice on that score other than to say we can’t let it crush us for then we stop loving and being loved.

            Like

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