international guild of techno tricksters

Around 2 am, I heard my completely disabled cell phone’s ringtone. The phone produced a series of ringtones, each more irritating than the last. By 2:15 am, my tablet came to life, making noises like a manual type-writer. Before the neighbours called the police (again), I picked up the phone. A cheery, flushed face appeared on the screen.

My “Boss, 2 am is kinda early . . .” was drowned out by squeals of delight, and a certain smugness. “Socitedsociocordanniconfer.” (Translation: So excited that I was elected as Social Co-coordinator. We get the Annual Conference.) The “we” woke me up since we usually =’d me.

I’m personal assistant to a member of the Secret Guild of Techno Tricksters. When flint knapping was perfected, the guild was born. Several years ago, I said some choice words thus becoming part of that secret guild.

After a particularly frustrating series of techno-fails, I screamed at my laptop: “Come ‘on out, you [words I don’t share online]. I want to met the [more words] who makes my life a living hell.” My soon-to-be boss’s sunny terabyte-pixeled smile materialized on every device in my apartment with a screen. “So nice that you want to met me.” (My boss usually hears what she wants to.) “You’re perfect for my personal assistant. I’ll screen by tomorrow.”

So, that’s why at 3 am I watched my printer spew out paper with suggestions for her “anniconfer.” The tricksters can bring down a country’s entire computer-based system, thus causing panic and finger-pointing – members of the infamous 010101; the government of _______ (place country name of choice in blank.); or perhaps lone wolf 101010!. Yet, still like to see piles and piles and piles of paper – on their virtual and my real desk. I can work just fine paperless.

Keep this to yourself. Tricksters take the “secret” part of their guild tittle VERY seriously.

You hear of bizarre accidents caused by technology.

Accidents? . . . . . . .

Inspired by Tale Weaver’s Prompt: Guild Director

 

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8 thoughts on “international guild of techno tricksters

  1. wendy January 31, 2015 / 2:35 pm

    Oh my gosh, you won’t believe this but when I came to your site just now it blinked on and off about 5 times, I thought it was the Tricksters after my computer! no really it did. I swear!!

    this was cute. But how did you make it flash on and off like that?
    freaky.

    Like

    • phylor February 1, 2015 / 4:35 pm

      I didn’t make it flash, Wendy. That is too freaky. Scared but will venture back.

      Like

  2. Bastet January 30, 2015 / 2:55 pm

    Yipes … kind of scary … I’ve often had the big brother feeling when it comes to blogging for example … and those strange glitches that create so many problems … thought provoking fun story!

    Like

  3. phylor January 30, 2015 / 9:53 am

    I’ve known them for years. There’s always one living in my computer. The Guild loves running amok!

    Like

    • phylor January 30, 2015 / 9:54 am

      This response is to Jen; the Guild is at it again!

      Like

  4. summerstommy2 January 30, 2015 / 2:27 am

    This is fabulous phylor, made me smile and I read it twice just so as not to be tricked by it myself. It could explain my internet issues yesterday, though you and i have a similar sounding phone I fear. Great take on this prompt.

    Like

    • phylor January 30, 2015 / 10:00 am

      Oh those techno tricksters! They surf the web on boogie boards, wearing Hawaiian shirts. The cellphone — I think they helped Steve Jobs develop it so they could go mobile.
      Glad their tale made you smile. I’d say more about them, but I am bound to secrecy.

      Like

  5. Jen January 30, 2015 / 2:13 am

    Now, see, I’ve suspected that there’s a secret guild messing everything up — this explains it all perfectly! And I do believe the Guild has been running amok in wordpress lately! ;)

    Great write :)

    Like

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