evil gene

I am not possessed

cacodemonomania is not within

my biography/vocabulary

I am not possessed

it’s what I possess

that is the ugliness

an evil gene

with grasping tendrils linking the generations

it is our family tree

the signs, the acts of evil

are within our hearts

and how they beat

all is mine, mine is all

 

some are caught, some are lured by the gene’s evil seduction

a seduction that also maims and kills

the gene seduces me with silken web

when strong, can rip the threads

when weak, I rely on it

for my existence

 

I am not sane nor steady

meds don’t mitigate/negotiate

another mental state

since childhood

knew the secret

of our family tree

evil branches

on a tree stunted and twisted

if bloomed, bloody and putrid

if fruited, bruised with rotted core

Writing Prompt #96 “Cacodemonomania” March 1, 2015

 

© phylor 2015

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16 thoughts on “evil gene

  1. julespaige March 2, 2015 / 11:32 am

    I think of many things after reading this… but I think it is the absence of genes that allow evil.
    I’ve watched too many shows where they claim evil is inherited. I think Evil is more of a learned thing. And if the genes for compassion are missing evil can flourish. I don’t believe in inherited sin. We all can make good choices if given the education and understanding of the true nature of learned behaviors.

    I knew a man who refused to have children because he misunderstood his own father’s dementia and illness. Just like pets… children when treated correctly can overcome family history.

    Not sure what will happen with the ‘cleric’. I was watching some CSI program and that also leached it’s way in. There were several episodes about a nasty set of twins.

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    • phylor March 2, 2015 / 3:25 pm

      True, evil can be learned — nature versus nurture –, but I do believe in being born evil and time only makes the evil more deadly and consuming.

      I understand a bit about dementia and inheritance. That person may have been misguided, but dementia does run in families. My aunt and my mother had it, my aunt died with Alzheimer’s. So, since the two closest female relatives on the material side had dementia I was my mother’s care-giver so I know what it does to the person and to those who care for them. The odds are that I too will have dementia.

      Perhaps you are right in that with the proper atmosphere, the evil and the madness can be overcome. But I still feel that evil can flow from generation to generation. I had a completely different childhood than my father and his two siblings, yet I still have the characteristics of the ugliness it causes. I chose to fight it — but the battle has always been my own.

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      • julespaige March 2, 2015 / 3:37 pm

        May you continue to win your battle.

        I had a personal battle where once I lost control. And vowed never to let it happen again. Blaming others or circumstance would not help me. Perseverance, recognition and courage helped to move me forward.

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        • phylor March 2, 2015 / 11:45 pm

          I’m glad you had the strength of regain control. Perseverance, recognition and courage are values that reflect your ability to undertake healing. Healing and forgiving ourselves are two of the hardest things in my life.
          This has been an interesting conversation. I hope you continue to regain control. Being firm within yourself is important to “beat” the enemy, and regain you.

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          • julespaige March 3, 2015 / 7:15 am

            We all have some cracks and faults.
            Can they all be repaired. Hard to say.
            I think writing helps by allowing other voices to speak in perhaps a safe venue.

            As you say Forgiveness of self is one of those guilt trips that we seem to have ingrained on a deep and maybe even subconscious level.

            It is hard to say just who we are when we wear so many different ‘hats’. Not so much masks as hats I think – At least with hats we can look in the mirror and smile. With a mask our faces can be covert, hidden and that unknown is the frightening part.

            Hugs.

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  2. phylor March 2, 2015 / 10:22 am

    I agree, genetics can be very cruel. My father either was a good fighter, or the gene skipped over him. (This response should appear under SummerTommy2, not at the beginning of the comments section.)

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  3. mindlovemisery March 2, 2015 / 9:42 am

    Powerful piece and one I can relate to as I have psychopaths in my family line. I often worry that I am part demonic and my mom actually talks with great concern about our evil genes.Medicine can’t erase genetics.

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    • phylor March 2, 2015 / 10:29 am

      True. In my family, it’s addiction, madness, and evilness. Neither parents spoke about it — but as a child, I figured it out.
      Awareness of the potential for evil, helps good people like you, to battle for the light and not be seduced by the dark.
      Does your mom, when she talks about evil genes, refer to you and/or herself, or the family in general? Either my father was a better fighter than me, or the evil gene skipped him. His sister was lured later and his brother was born with it.

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      • mindlovemisery March 2, 2015 / 1:03 pm

        My mom worries for herself she has a lot guilt and suffered very severe post partum to the point of psychosis and she did some terrible things at that time, she has made vast improvements but sometimes I catch a glimpse of that coldness. My dad has actual psychopathy (I wrote that poem Portrait of a Psychopath with him in mind) and also he is an alcoholic. His father was also a psychopath and so is his brother Frank. Many of my father’s relatives also have substance abuse issues. My mom’s mom had many many characteristics in common with a psychopath (many people would say she was one but I think she loved me) and her sister was unquestionably one (tortured children), I believe my grandmother’s mother may have been involved in the torture of children too. My grandmother supposedly had 10 siblings but 7 mysteriously died and she would never speak of it. On my mom’s side addiction takes a different form smoking, food but not like drugs and drink like on my dad’s side.

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        • phylor March 2, 2015 / 2:23 pm

          That is a seriously worrisome family tree. I can understand why you are concerned about your-self and where you fit within this pattern. I believe if you are aware of these family “issues,” you can fight it pre-occupying your mind and your life.
          There is an evil gene lurking in your family; good luck and I’m sending you good and protecting vibes! And like attacks/attracts like; Sam doesn’t sound like he has an evil gene within him.
          He can help you stay safe.

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          • mindlovemisery March 2, 2015 / 3:04 pm

            Well luckily I have never been drawn to alcohol which has caused much of my families mental undoing. I understand that I would have a weakness for it and plenty of tragedy which I might like to forget so I don’t drink. I have studied Buddhism for many many years to help deepen and develop my compassion. I take many measures. Sam has taught me a lot he has such a good heart. Thank you and best wishes to you!

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            • phylor March 2, 2015 / 11:50 pm

              Alcohol is an issue within my family and another link between generations including me. My fight to not become a high-functioning alcoholic is continuous. I slip into drinking again, and then need to regain control over my addiction. I dislike being out of control.
              Buddhism provides answers to so many questions, or directs you in the way to find/understand your self.
              Good luck with beating your family’s issues. I think you have the strength to do so.

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  4. summerstommy2 March 2, 2015 / 1:47 am

    Wow this is very powerful and a great twist on the prompt. Genetics can be cruel as much bad luck, as I know. I like how you refer to it as an evil but also a crutch. Well done phylor.

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