A “white water” melodrama

© 2015, Barbara W. Beacham

“When the team heard the dam explode, they knew they had limited time to make it to safety.”

Mallard was an experienced white water rafter. They would need to ride the river about a mile to get beyond the cliffs.

Leezeeanne, knowing the river, took charge of the second raft.

With precision, they piloted their crafts, just ahead of the dam’s tsunami.

The canyon almost behind them, the angry, hungry current smashed Leezeeanne’s raft against the rocks.

Mallard’s head and heart wrestled for dominance.

He needed to get his team out. He needed Leezeeanne, the first and only love of his life.

Mallard knew the decision he must make.

A “white water” melodrama for Mondays Finish the Story, March 23, 2015

Mondays Finish the Story challenges you to use the provided opening sentence and accompanying photograph to write a piece of flash fiction – 100 to 150 words. This is a great way to start your creative week.


31 thoughts on “A “white water” melodrama

  1. rogershipp March 25, 2015 / 8:50 pm

    How’s it end? Loved the “melodrama”… you did a great job at divergent answers. Or is there a way they all can live?


    • phylor March 25, 2015 / 10:22 pm

      That’s a possibility. Probably could figure a way out so they can. Add it to the list of potential endings people can chose from.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Francesca Smith March 24, 2015 / 7:00 pm

    Wow, what a choice!
    I hope you continue with this story, you got me hooked.


    • phylor March 24, 2015 / 10:35 pm

      I might offer the reader two potential endings — happy and sad. I’m not sure right now which I would choose. These things seem to depend on my mood and frame of mind! :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. milliethom March 24, 2015 / 3:22 pm

    Oh what a terrible situation for Mallard to be in … Can we expect a continuation, or is the ending open to interpretaion? Nicely done. :)


    • phylor March 25, 2015 / 11:56 am

      Right now, it’s open to interpretation. Or, I could provide 2 endings and let the reader chose the one they prefer. Or, I could lead you on again. Mallard reaches out for Leezeeanne, their fingers clasp — but does the current take her away, or does do they hold on and she rides along with the raft, clinging to the side, or manages to get in. Oh dear, the possibilities are just too endless, :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. afairymind March 24, 2015 / 12:57 pm

    Great take on the prompt! Such a hard choice for Mallard to make.


  5. tnkerr March 23, 2015 / 8:59 pm

    Well, you’ve provided some possible continuations of the plot line, for which I thank you. I also thank you for allowing me to finish as I see fit!
    Having said all that – Thank you!


    • phylor March 25, 2015 / 11:59 am

      I’m glad you like the opportunity to finish the story — I do like reading and writing open-ended stories. :-)


  6. summerstommy2 March 23, 2015 / 4:57 pm

    Well done phylor, I think these tales are all going to have an air of excitement about them.


    • phylor March 23, 2015 / 7:19 pm

      The prompt photo and sentence makes a great jumping off point. I’ve only done a couple of these, but I really enjoy the diversity of answers!


  7. Susan Langer March 23, 2015 / 4:54 pm

    Liked your story. He had a tough choice to make. :)


    • phylor March 23, 2015 / 7:20 pm

      He did. Which is why I called it a melodrama!
      I’m glad you liked my story. It was fun to write.


  8. Priceless Joy March 23, 2015 / 4:34 pm

    Wow! My heart says he went to save Leezeeanne. I hope that didn’t mean letting everyone in his raft die. On second thought, maybe he DID save his raft. Great story!


    • phylor March 23, 2015 / 7:22 pm

      She would be swept down stream, and he and she would reach for each other’s hands. A happy ending, he is able to pull her out of the water. Two sad endings, her fingers slide out of his hand, or she pulls him into the river and they disappear together under the waves.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. phylor March 23, 2015 / 2:05 pm

    I like your challenges. Wondering what’s next!


  10. babso2you March 23, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    Very well done! I enjoyed your bit of flash fiction! Thanks for participating in the MFtS challenge, and I hope that you return next week…Be well… ^..^


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