love begins on platform one

Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: love begins on platform one

Samantha was worried.

He hadn’t arrived yet.

She had preened herself til she shone.

She waited at the same spot they first met.

Promised to met again this spring.

When southern breezes and stronger sunshine melted away winter.

Platform 1 where the commuters from London little noticed her.

But Herman had. 

She remembered with fondness.

Courtship.

Commitment over hook-up.

True love declared.

Wonderous times that followed.

Glow of sunrises and sunsets.

Together in the park. Admiring the statues.

Dining with friends in hidden exotic restaurants.

Promises made.

Now broken.

Samantha waited on Platform I.

Herman never showed.

Probably with some younger pigeon babe, she thought.

George had been openly displaying his manliness lately . . .   {word count: 116}

Written for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, week of April 22, 2015.

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “love begins on platform one

  1. married2arod April 26, 2015 / 12:21 am

    What I thought was great about this piece was the structure of it. The short snappy sentences that moved the pace along. I haven’t seen many writers who know you don’t have to describe every little detail when it comes to flash fiction. You hook the reader throw in the struggle and get out of there with a little twist at the end. :)

    Like

    • phylor April 26, 2015 / 11:52 am

      Thank you for the compliment. I am getting more used to flash fiction, and am trying to pare down my writing. I’m glad that the pace and the flow worked for you1

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Tastyniblets April 25, 2015 / 12:44 am

    Loved it Phylor – Samantha the birds a real bird :p

    Like

    • phylor April 25, 2015 / 11:10 am

      Thanks!
      It’s always interesting to assume someone else’s personae — even pigeons! :-)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. milliethom April 24, 2015 / 6:47 pm

    A very clever tale, Phylor. You present Samantha’s thoughts so well – her hopes, then her disappointment and speculation about where Herman could be, and who he could be with. I really enjoyed reading this.:)

    Like

    • phylor April 24, 2015 / 10:31 pm

      Thanks. I looked at the picture and saw this lone pigeon, and she got inside my head, lol

      Like

  4. afairymind April 24, 2015 / 2:50 pm

    This made me smile! I wasn’t expecting her to be a pigeon. :)

    Like

    • phylor April 24, 2015 / 10:32 pm

      Glad it made you smile. I must admit I wrote so, hopefully, the pigeon didn’t arrive til the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ellespeth April 24, 2015 / 2:02 am

    This has be chuckling! Maybe it’s a low wind day and Herman is just late :)

    Great take on the prompt.

    Ellespeth

    Like

    • phylor April 24, 2015 / 10:33 pm

      Herman could be late, but Samantha is definitely impressed by George, so Herman better hurry along. :-)

      Like

  6. skyllairae April 23, 2015 / 11:36 pm

    I really like this story, pigeon stream of consciousness!

    Like

    • phylor April 24, 2015 / 10:34 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked the story. It’s strange how I seem to get inside a variety of heads/minds. Hope that doesn’t reflect parts of my personality. :-)

      Liked by 1 person

      • skyllairae April 24, 2015 / 11:11 pm

        If it works for your writing it can’t be too bad :)

        Like

        • phylor April 24, 2015 / 11:18 pm

          Only when I “channel” someone who has an evil heart! :-)

          Like

  7. Priceless Joy April 23, 2015 / 8:08 am

    Loved how you gave human quality to the pigeons in this piece. Excellent! I really enjoyed reading it.

    Like

    • phylor April 24, 2015 / 10:35 pm

      Well, the pigeon, Samantha, was the only entity on platform one, so it seemed like she had a story to tell!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Creatopath April 23, 2015 / 7:38 am

    That was very clever. Loved your take on the prompt. Their adventures together sound so lovely. Is George the new love interest?

    Like

    • phylor April 25, 2015 / 11:13 am

      Well, Samantha did seem to be impressed by displays of his “manliness”!

      Like

I love dialogue. Do you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s