Princess Eos

With a debt of creative gratitude to Robert Munch and his 1980 masterpiece:

Not all princesses belong to Disney. Thanks RM.
Not all princesses belong to Disney. Thanks RM.

Warning – this is a very long story. I’m not much in the editing mood or mode, so it isn’t going to get shorter. If anything, I’d probably make it longer. :-)

All typos are my muse’s fault. In fact any error in this manuscript, including the manuscript itself, is all my muse’s fault. And, now she’s off to another one of her spa weeks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A while ago, when there still was magic in the world, undisneyfied princesses really did live in castles. You must believe this, or the words will disappear off the screen.

Princess Eos stood in the middle of her room, foot tapping, arms folded, and a rather big scowl on her face. For “appearances” (both meanings!) she wasn’t allowed to wear the dresses she designed. She had to wear her hair in elaborate arrangements; she wanted short, purple hair. Her parents were just too traditional!

“It was all too predictable,” she thought. “The princess wears stupid fluffy gowns, uncomfortable crowns on top of ridiculous hair, and such.”

Pacing, she said to the room:

“The princess in the fluffy dress is always engaged to a prince. About this time, she is abducted by: a) dragon b) evil wizard/witch c) evil stepmother et. al d) ogre, troll or some other sort of low life e) trickster, con man.

She is held captive in: a) cave b) dungeon c) castle tower d) evil palace e) underworld city or prisoner camp.

She is then rescued by a) her fiancee b) knight in shining armour on a white horse c) a handsome, honourable commoner d) a handsome, honourable commoner who is in reality a prince e) some sort of contrived ending so that they a) live happily ever after!”

Scrunching up her face, she declared, “Oh, I forgot, there is the royal wedding. No, I won’t go there.”

So, there she stood, a very unhappy princess. Soon, too soon, her engagement to Prince Rupert would be announced. Rupie wasn’t a bad guy, he just was so traditional. Not exactly what she had in mind.

You might have figured out by now that Princess Eos’ life would not be a Disney animated movie – more like on HBO or Showtime. Traditional was the last word anyone would use to describe her. She firmly believed in nonconformistism . Her parents despaired of her (she drove them nuts), and were more than happy to marry her off.

Then Princess Eos had an idea: “If I get abducted before the engagement, then I’m in the clear. Hide out til everyone gets tired of looking, Rupie is engaged to Princess Cupcake, and Princess Eos, now Gemma Louise Grimm, could live happily every after.

But, abducted by who? A through E just wouldn’t work. “I mean,” she thought, “Herbie is a nice dragon and his cave isn’t all that bad. But he couldn’t keep a secret. The Troll brothers are a lot of fun, but on a kingdom tour with their band.”

Then she snapped her fingers. “Of course, Warrior Princesses, yes a band of wayward Warrior Princesses. I’m captured and trained to become one of them. Perfect.”

Since there were no Warrior Princesses, she didn’t have anything to worry about. Except, figure out how to make them exist long enough to abduct and indoctrinate her. So she started a rumour they had rode in from the East, and were wrecking, reeking, or wreaking havoc and mayhem where-ever they went. If you saw what one looked like, she had to kill you.

Once the buzz about the Princess Warriors was heating up, she added the threatened plot. “I’m having too much fun,” she thought. She arranged to be taken just before the big announcement. She put on her commoner clothes (good for getting away from the stuffy palace). She messed up her room, dangled a rope from the window ledge, made lots of noise, then ran down the back steps to the castle grounds.

She yelled, “They have her. They have her.” She was so shaken up, all she could do was point in the general direction of the gate. (Everyone seemed to forget the “got to kill you” part)

A posse of knights and princes conveniently there for the party rode out to rescue her. Even Rupie who was allergic to horses gave it a go.

Princess Eos simply walked out the gate with a bundle of her important stuff she had stashed earlier. She made sure she was far enough away, then she did a happy dance! She could do whatever she wanted. Now, she didn’t really have a plan, and wasn’t sure which career path to follow, but she was away from the traditional princess thing!

Things were going along fine, when a knight in shining armour recognized her from the “have thou seenth” posters. However, when he took off his armour, it became obvious his intentions were not honourable. He had more than a ride back to the palace in mind. Princess Eos bopped him on the head knocking him out cold.

She reached down and drew his sword out of it’s scabbard. She made a few moves, cutting the air with the gleaming sword. “You know,” she thought, “maybe I am a Warrior Princess. Maybe I’ve always been one.”

My heroes are all the Warrior Princesses I’ve had the privilege of knowing. I’m a better person for having met them. They pick up the sword and shield and fight. They battle physical and mental illness, chronic pain, and addiction. They cut through stigmas and stereotypes. They are caring, supportive, nonjudgmental warriors fighting for the common good.

Warrior Princesses do exist. And not one of them looks like Lucy Lawless!

Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, Tale Weaver #13: Heroes

@ phylor 2015

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27 thoughts on “Princess Eos

  1. mindlovemisery May 21, 2015 / 8:08 am

    Oh how I love this! What a charming story and what a wonderful animated and strong female lead you have created! The message at the end is particularly beautiful.

    Like

    • phylor May 21, 2015 / 12:28 pm

      Thanks!
      The Princess Eos is an homage to a good friend with whom the Warrior Princess discussion began. I like strong female leads — I don’t know if you can get the Paper Bag Princess in Sweden — it has been translated into many languages, but if you ever do, please read! It is so refreshing for the 1980s and continued stereotypes.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mindlovemisery May 21, 2015 / 1:05 pm

        I would love to read it and I absolutely will if I can get my hands on it XD I like a strong female leads as well and there aren’t enough of them in children’s stories especially. I am always on the look out in the library for my daughter

        Like

        • phylor May 22, 2015 / 4:47 am

          Children’s literature may be more all inclusive now, but there still seems to be that gender divide.

          Like

  2. mj6969 May 20, 2015 / 6:27 pm

    I *ADORE* The Paper bag Princess! Best of the best! And great story – loved every single line!

    Those little hand-held books are awesome – I used to have a bundle – but graciously passed them on to my niece when she was old enough for them.

    Delightful – this is such an amazing story.

    And yes, The Princess Warriors *do* exist – we come in all shapes and sizes, travel by all means and methods …. and um … just a thought – should we “officially” knight Michael in the group – as being a Prince Warrior – for he is – without a doubt – both aspects – Prince and Warrior XD

    Like

    • phylor May 20, 2015 / 9:36 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed the Paper Bag Princess as much as I did.
      Am also glad you believe in Warrior Princesses/Princess Warriors.
      I think we could make Michael an honourary Warrior Prince/Prince Warrior. He will set the standard by which we allow such honourary memberships.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mj6969 May 20, 2015 / 10:04 pm

        Way cool – sounds like a super plan XD

        Like

        • phylor May 20, 2015 / 11:58 pm

          We’ll, of course, have to see if he would like to accept the title, ;-)

          Liked by 1 person

          • mj6969 May 21, 2015 / 10:25 am

            True True – but how could he not want such a wonderful honor? ;)

            Like

            • phylor May 23, 2015 / 3:37 pm

              Few, would imagine. To be included is to be with a very special group!

              Liked by 1 person

              • mj6969 May 23, 2015 / 5:59 pm

                Indeed :D

                Like

  3. Bastet May 17, 2015 / 4:52 am

    Bravo … what a lovely tale, I enjoyed this very much Phylor and here’s to Warrior Princesses in disguise!

    Like

    • phylor May 17, 2015 / 4:33 pm

      We are out there!
      Glad you enjoyed my story.
      Try reading The Paper Bag Princess some time — coming out in 1980, it was ahead of it’s time.

      Like

      • Bastet May 18, 2015 / 12:48 am

        I’ll certainly look for it … thanks for sharing!

        Like

  4. Vagrant Rhodia May 14, 2015 / 4:58 pm

    Kick. Butt! is all I have to say. By the way, earlier when the story stated that if it wasn’t true words would disappear off the screen. When I first brought it up, it looked half gone. Hmmm :D

    Like

  5. summerstommy2 May 14, 2015 / 4:03 pm

    Fabulous tale. Like all heroes she is sort of quiet and unassuming. I very much liked the moralistic tone you injected into your tale. Wonderful and I love that tongue in cheek humour.

    Like

    • phylor May 14, 2015 / 4:53 pm

      Thank you.
      If you ever get the chance read Robert Munch’s The Paper Bag Princess. A kid’s book with lessons for us all.

      Like

      • summerstommy2 May 14, 2015 / 8:23 pm

        I’ll see if I can find it…..I need all the lessons I can get….

        Like

        • phylor May 15, 2015 / 5:20 am

          Apparently there is even a special 25th anniversary edition (2005). Robert Munch wrote a series of funny, “educational” books for kids. He figured that looking at life from a short and tall perspective gave both a laugh and a lesson.
          For years, his books came out as very small paperbacks — the sort of size that would just fit in a kid’s hand. I always liked the Paper Bag Princess because it makes fairy tale stereotypes (and those promoted by society/media/tradition) all turned round.
          Another great one is “I Got to Go” about a child in the backseat during a car trip — I’m sure you can figure that one out.
          Some have been made into animated shorts — the only one I’ve seen is Blackberry Subway Jam.
          When I took kids lit, I wrote a paper using several of his stories.
          Oops, got carried away! Just finished first coffee before first light :-)

          Like

          • wendy May 16, 2015 / 6:54 pm

            thank you my Warrior Princess friend!!!
            You made my day.
            I read your email….and subsequently this, shortly after a 5 hour vertigo attack. (I thought I was going to have a good day….didn’t work out that way. :-P)

            I am a Warrior Princess! I pick up my sword and fight the injustice of Chronic Illnesses and Pain every day!
            You are a Warrior Queen! I will follow you into battle anywhere.

            :-)

            Like

            • phylor May 16, 2015 / 10:47 pm

              I thought you might enjoy this story. Guess the vertigo attacks continue on a regular, long duration basis? That is not fair or fun.

              Like

              • phylor May 17, 2015 / 4:34 pm

                Oh, yeah, I’d follow you into battle too!

                Like

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