an itinerary

Would be nice if depression gave you an itinerary. Arriving at 6am on Jun 24; leaving 7 pm August 10th. My life just doesn’t work that way.

Depression comes with no warning. Slips it’s hands around my waist. Nuzzles my neck. Whispers in my ear.

All those bitter nothings. That I am nothing. And never will be.

Speaks in absolutes. Bitter truths.

I promise myself.

No more.

Never again.

But orange rims the eastern sky.

What if . . . no . . . no ever again.


9 thoughts on “an itinerary

  1. imagineambition August 11, 2015 / 9:44 pm

    It may sound small, but it always helps… At least to get me out of bed… Train yourself to stop and find 3 things you’re thankful for. I really had trouble with this until someone pointed out that it’s okay to be thankful for seemingly little things like running water, electricity, or a bloomed flower. As I started noticing those, life got slightly easier, and it helps me get out of bed sms start the day with a positive thought. It’s also gotten easier to think of deeper, more personal things. Good luck.


    • phylor August 12, 2015 / 8:21 am

      I think you are very right. We do need to concentrate on those small things to be thankful for. It does make it easier. Thanks.


  2. Valida Faire August 11, 2015 / 12:59 am

    This breaks my heart, and I’m sincere when I say I’ve been thinking of you for days–every time I hear the same crap in my head, feel like I can’t take one more freaking day, I think of you, wonder how and what you’re doing. I so agree–it would be only considerate to have an itinerary; it’s the least we should be able to expect….


    • phylor August 11, 2015 / 3:14 am

      Yes. knowing when to go into hiding. Makes
      the world less scary.
      Thank you for thinking of me.
      How are you?


      • Valida Faire August 11, 2015 / 3:21 am

        Thanks for asking–I’m muddling through; writing at least occupies my mind temporarily–and I did cook today, which is a good thing. I know about going into hiding, that it makes the world less scary–until it threatens to swallow you whole…


        • phylor August 11, 2015 / 4:36 am

          Guess we have to fight it. Warrior Princess and all that. Don’t let it swallow you; words that are easier said than done.


          • Valida Faire August 11, 2015 / 5:21 am

            Yep, fighting on…with words prettily arranged…


  3. Colline August 10, 2015 / 7:54 pm

    Hope it is not visiting you now. Keep well Phylor.


    • phylor August 18, 2015 / 5:23 am

      Just dropped by for a quick visit, then off to bother someone else!

      Liked by 1 person

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