monsters

monsters live under my bed

Impossible, you say

Monsters live in closets.

I have no closets

Monsters hide behind doors.

I have 3 doors without room for a monster

Monsters hide in dreams.

I have no dreams

the monster is under my bed

creeps out from time to time

doesn’t scare me, just reminds me

Reminds you of what?

my limitations. my need for what I do not have. can never have. my grief at what was not. my incapacities. what being me means. broken dreams.

What do you need? Why do you grieve? Who are you?

In asking those questions, I now know

my monsters can shape shift. my monster is you.

You’ve learned your lesson well. Monsters live wherever and however they choose.

And, I have chosen you.

 

@ phylor, August 2015

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14 thoughts on “monsters

  1. Valida Faire August 11, 2015 / 1:01 am

    WOW, and more WOW–you write this “stuff” so well; too easy to relate to.

    Like

    • phylor August 18, 2015 / 5:26 am

      I think we all have our monsters. It’s learning to sent them out of our lives, away from our closets and beds.
      Each person’s monster is different. You are right in suggesting you can relate. There is a common theme to monsters — what we fear most and must conquer.

      Like

      • Valida Faire August 18, 2015 / 6:33 pm

        Today I’m being gnawed on alive by a monster–very hard to cope.

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        • phylor August 19, 2015 / 8:14 am

          Remember you are a warrior princess, Strong, creating a shield to protect you. Monsters need our fear to make themselves. Every monster is different as each person has their own set of fears. Don’t be afraid to share your fears with someone else. If shared, more strength to do battle.
          Hang in there. Monsters can be fought and beaten.

          Like

          • Valida Faire August 19, 2015 / 4:10 pm

            I’m pretty good at self-analysis, which I suppose is good from an intellectual standpoint–but I can’t say there’s much comfort in it. So I think I know why things both exploded and imploded for a couple days….By last night I wasn’t as fatigued as I had been, so that was a good sign, and resulted in me being able to catch up on some writing prompts. So, I guess I’m looking forward to better days, improvement–but the damn underlying depression monster is never satisfied, always hungry again. Jeez Louise! I always feel better when you’re doing well enough to be around, reading and chatting in the boxes.

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            • phylor August 19, 2015 / 4:14 pm

              Depression does hang around and anti-depressions only work on the top. Self-analysis is a good trait as long as it doesn’t go too deeply. You know accidently over analyze. Sounds like you do have a sense of this and aren’t moving in that direction. You know what is not right and work towards fixing it. That shows up in your writing!

              Like

              • Valida Faire August 19, 2015 / 4:18 pm

                Bless you! I appreciate your words of affirmation and support. The one anti-dep I take really only helps me sleep… I’m fairly anti-pharmaceutical, after so many bad experiences, and prefer to lean on my Faith and cognitive skills. And write like a madwoman! Thank you, Phylor–for everything.

                Like

  2. Colline August 10, 2015 / 7:57 pm

    Yes, our insecurities are within ourselves.

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    • phylor August 11, 2015 / 3:16 am

      too true. sometimes we make our own ghosts.

      Like

  3. HumaAq August 10, 2015 / 6:11 pm

    Under the bed is always scary because closet’s door can be closed;)

    Like

    • phylor August 10, 2015 / 6:28 pm

      Yes, things under the bed are more difficult to dismiss. You know they under the bed, but will anyone believe you?

      Liked by 1 person

      • HumaAq August 10, 2015 / 6:30 pm

        No, I won’t convince anyone. My own demons to fight i suppose! I really liked the way your wrote this post

        Like

  4. Candy August 10, 2015 / 4:27 pm

    Ooooo …… ominous! And I’ve always looked under the bed!

    Like

    • phylor August 10, 2015 / 6:29 pm

      I think I’m often too scared to!

      Like

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