the zen of home

“Prompts come in many different forms. Sometimes, a single word is all you need to get your mind’s wheels turning. Here are six words: HOPE; REGRET; HOME; CHOICE; ABUNDANCE’; SECRET. Select one word in this list that speaks to you in some way.”

Writing Assignment 3, Writing 101, Blogging U. 3.11.15

The sum of my life ’til then:
“For you
Home is always where you’re not”


A colleague once noted that “for you, home is always where you’re not.” There is a fluidity to this notion that I like. As a child, we were constantly on the move. Why I found Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House on the Prairie so compelling. Charles, Laura’s father, suffered from a kind of claustrophobia. Laura describes him as a man who needed room and space. Thus, when he perceived civilization (as judged by the nearness of neighbours) too close, it was time for the Ingalls family to move, and for Laura to begin yet another journey. And, of course, an adventure.

So, I identified with the Ingalls – no where to call “home.” My grandmother’s house was less than welcoming, and haunted. My maternal aunt’s farm was a constant, but allergies made staying there for too long abysmal. My parents bought their first house when my father retired. The house I inherited 15 years later. Familiar items in only slightly familiar surroundings. The endless task of sorting (keep, donate, sell, trash), yard sales, e=bay searching/pricing. A task that wore me down into sickness further distancing myself from the last house my parents lived in. Memories of other houses, other families, other lives.

I have an idealized sense of home. A tiny tidy  white house. Small front porch. Sheltered/shaded by ancient apple and weeping willow trees. If urban the “front lawn” a wildflower garden. Vegetables and herbs growing in raised beds. Inside, like the Ikea “homes” in their stores – small spaces turned into livable by Ikea design. Need a bathroom (with an incredible shower!);  kitchen;  eating room/space, creative “corner;” bedroom, visiting room. A mash-up of the tiny spaces we have rented and the magic sprinkle of belonging, centeredness to create the zen of home.



10 thoughts on “the zen of home

  1. J Lapis November 4, 2015 / 9:54 pm

    I like what you described as “home”, Phylor–it’s really such an individual “feeling” as well as “style”; but you and I have some similarities–I too want an incredible shower!! And a cozy corner bedroom sounds wonderful, along with that porch and the apple and willow trees…. If I bring something yummy, may I come for a weekend visit? :)


    • tale weaver/ing November 5, 2015 / 2:05 am

      By all means — open invitation! I like date squares, btw, lol.


      • J Lapis November 5, 2015 / 2:17 am

        Oooh, I love date “anything”–by squares, do you mean “bars”? Recently I was in a Mediterranean Market, and saw jars of Date Molasses–I’ll be buying some of that to make gingerbread for Christmas!


        • tale weaver/ing November 5, 2015 / 2:31 am

          I think they are probably the same — squares and bars.
          Base layer of oatmeal and butter “dough”, layer of dates cooked down with a bit of water, top layer of oatmeal mixture and bake in a square pan (way I know).
          Date molasses sounds interesting. I love “fancy” molasses which is very hard to find in the US. Much lighter and sweeter than regular or blackstrap molasses.


          • J Lapis November 5, 2015 / 3:37 am

            Yep, we’re talking about the same yummy dessert! I’ll let you know how the date molasses tastes, but I’m sure it will be heavenly–I so wish I could call you to “come on over and taste this!”


            • tale weaver/ing November 5, 2015 / 6:32 am

              Would be nice. The molasses I could taste. The gingerbread, not. I’m allergic to most, if not all, spices. Good excuse for not eating pumpkin pie. I eat cinnamon things which I shouldn’t be I don’t react as badly as I do to ginger, allspice, nutmeg, etc.


              • J Lapis November 5, 2015 / 8:33 am

                Oh that must be terrible to be allergic to spices–I love the ones you mention, and always add extra clove, my fave! I wonder if you couldn’t make a “bland” but tasty pumpkin pie–spiceless, just a sweetened custardy dish?


          • J Lapis November 5, 2015 / 3:39 am

            I normally just get Grandma’s unsulphured molasses–whatever that means (it’s what Safeway has).


              • J Lapis November 5, 2015 / 8:30 am

                Well, once it’s in gingerbread, would I notice the difference??


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