tapestries and tales

Ta is the SoCS word. So, I’ve taken the opportunity to tell a tale. Spoiler alert: no happy ending. Yet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She used to weave the most tantalizing tapestries with threads of ethereal colours and such tactile textures. While she wove, she told tales. Sometimes just quietly inside her for company; sometimes out loud. Tears often got woven in; blood from pricked fingers and heart. But she wove, and she told. Even when it hurt. Tableaus came alive; stories tacked in and out of the wind; twists and twizzles; mis-woven patches.  She used different tactics to tantalize and tease.

But, then her ability to weave tapestries and tales was taken. No one knows for certain why. Perhaps all the sadness ate away her creativity. Or her talent was limited and fleeting. People didn’t like the taste her writing left in their minds; tasteless and dry like ancient saw dust. Or white table wine and tankards of ale were to blame. She was tattered, and felt taunted by her past.

No more taffeta, taupe, and tangerine; nothing taffy sweet nor ironically tart. Just nothing.  No wafting of tacamahac, tarragon and tansy. No tangle of words unspooled.  No more tarot cards, or collages, images, prompts, tasks. No more tales written from the heart and the soul. She so wanted to write as before spirit, whimsy, angst, sensuality, humour, satire, sadness, and truth.

She felt bereft, depleted – something precious had been taken.  Tantamount to being buried alive when a tale weaver’s hands shake so she can’t hold the needle because all that remains are tautological remnants of a time when she could weave tales and tapestries that came alive.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I’m sure you’ve guessed she is me. Writing kept me sane. But the sadness over the last six months, rather than fuel, stole my ability to write. I dropped out of more challenges than usual. And with months to think of it, no idea for A to Z. I feel like someone reached in and pulled out my writing, creating soul. To a writer (of sorts), that is loosing a most precious thing. Please, for once, can I have something back that was taken?

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14 thoughts on “tapestries and tales

  1. LindaGHill May 11, 2016 / 6:22 pm

    This. This is beautiful. Keep allowing your heart to pour from your fingertips, my dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dizzy Chick April 27, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    My dear I cannon say anything as well as Wildchild 47 voiced it. That was a wonderful response. Think on it.
    You are an amazing writer and it hasn’t stopped.
    You feel stale and dry, but your writing doesn’t read that way.
    Your tale here today was told beautifully. and yes I knew it was you.

    I have felt my creativity was taken from me, and I’ve had to work to get some of it back.
    You know I was very prolific at one point and art was my life. then I started being treated for Bipolar I and the mania was dampened, to say the least. with that it also dampened my creativity. I still don’t feel it like I did. but I wouldn’t go back to being that person.
    Part of my problem has been that I didn’t push through it. I just gave in.
    If I push myself I can create.
    I’m doing much more now, because I make myself practice, then I’ll produce something I just love. Like your fairy.
    but those love moments aren’t as often as you think they are.

    You are way too hard on yourself.
    I promise your ability to write is not gone.
    I love to read your writing.
    and I love you.

    Like

  3. dalecooper57 April 25, 2016 / 3:30 am

    I see no problems with creativity or writing here, lovely post.

    Like

  4. Deborah Drucker April 24, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    I was drawn to your writing before and that was what brought me back today. Maybe you have to find your own rhythm and pace. I find it draining to have to produce, like some kind of writing hack, myself. Sometimes I look at a prompt, actually more than sometimes, and it inspires nothing. I have nothing to write about that prompt. I really like to write about things I care about, things that I am passionate about, things that interest me. I have to be inspired. So don’t be so hard on yourself.

    Like

    • taleweavering April 25, 2016 / 12:26 am

      Thank you, Deborah.
      I guess I miss the spark — it didn’t always come, but it did. The heady feeling of writing a free flowing piece of poetry or a story. It’s addictive — and when each word becomes like a struggle. Well.
      I had not done creative writing in years, and it feel so freeing. I imagine like taking off a 19th century corset.
      I understand how important passion is to writing; how ideas translate into what you write about.
      Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. wildchild47 April 24, 2016 / 7:03 pm

    Umm …. okay …. maybe you don’t want to hear this …. but first off? you did the SoCs and it is a brilliant, albeit painful story – but you wrote it.

    And next – here’s the important bit – if you keep believing that all you ever write, produce and create is “less than” i.e. “less than before” “less than who you are” …. and now throw in all the “choice words” YOU have chosen, and keep repeating to yourself over and over i.e. dry dusty tasteless etc. and well, sweetie, don’t you realize that this is all you WILL see?? And the truth is, none of this is true. These are your perceptions and feelings.

    So you know, the “old tale weaver” – she’s still alive – but her voice, for whatever reasons, has fallen softer, sadder, quieter. And this is okay. What’s NOT okay is for you to continue believing that in order to be creative and have purpose is to be AS YOU WERE. (Sorry, I’m not shouting here – just trying to make sure of the emphasis.) You are you – as you are now – the whole shebang of feelings and ups and downs – and what you write – what happens – is AS IT SHOULD BE – and this doesn’t mean it’s any better or worse than before, or what you produced before. You know, even Picasso had a “blue period.”

    And please, understand, I KNOW what you mean when you say like you feel something has been taken from you – I’ve experienced that many times in my creative life, not only in writing, but in photography, art, gardening etc. And in some ways, it does happen – and then you burn out – but in the ashes, there are still embers – and they will continue to burn – it’s just recognizing that 1) we are, whether we like it or not, partly responsible for allowing it to happen
    2) need to accept this and let ourselves feel the pain, grief and sorrow
    3) recognize that this is a process – and it’s okay, necessary to be in this place/space
    4) then KNOW that we don’t have to “live here” forever, as in, in the “void”
    5) pick up /continue – for you – as you want – as it happens – as it comes out – FOR YOU
    6) make no apologizes for it
    7) know that even if it’s not today or 3 weeks from now, eventually, it will pass – if you are ready to step out of it – and no, maybe, maybe, it might take longer, but eventually, something will let you know that you are ready
    8) understand, that in the mean time, you may need to rest, step back or seek out new things – new sources of inspiration and creativity, even if you only “look and see”
    9) accept that perhaps, for the moment, whatever was your spark, spirit is “done with its own cycle”
    10) you will be able to move through all of this, BUT that it can never be as it was – because you and no one else – is static – we change, experience, adapt and grow …. so learn to be at peace with what was – and to look to the now – and the future, with curiosity, even if only for yourself.

    Hugs friend
    (((Phylor))))

    Liked by 1 person

    • taleweavering April 24, 2016 / 7:32 pm

      Let me think about what you have said; my silence is not ignoring. It takes me a while to process and reply.
      Thank you for your encouragement and caring. That means a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      • wildchild47 April 24, 2016 / 7:43 pm

        take all the time you need …. and feel free to do whatever you want wish or feel is right with my answer – I only speak from the heart and my understanding …. and this doesn’t mean it’s “right” for you ….

        Like

        • taleweavering April 25, 2016 / 12:28 am

          I’m working on an email. Not because the dialogue need be “private,” but I might end up saying a lot — I’m a bambler.

          Liked by 1 person

          • wildchild47 April 25, 2016 / 9:33 am

            No problems …. and you take your time :)

            Like

  6. Michael April 23, 2016 / 5:54 pm

    There is an irony here isn’t there. You writing mojo is gone but you still write so eloquently. Do what is best for you.

    Like

    • taleweavering April 24, 2016 / 5:29 am

      As it tis the end of Shakespeare Day, me thinks I can say thus “You are but too kind, gentle sir. Tis merely what falls from an unfertile mind — barren fields are dry and dusty.”

      Like

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