tethered

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, estimates there are 117 suicides a day. For every suicide death, 25 other suicide attempts are made. On September 8, 2015, the following was part of my post on suicide:

I’ve sat in Emergency waiting rooms praying for friends who, at the last moment, reached out to say “I can’t go on. I’ve taken pills X & Y soon the pain and sadness will be gone.”

I’ve tried “talking” friends down, to put one foot behind the other, to step away from the abyss, back towards the light.

I also know what goes on in your head when the emotional/physical pain is too much, when guilt, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness make death seem like a solution. An aching loneliness, a world without love and friendship, a world that would be better without, and wouldn’t miss you. A darkness deeper than a black hole. 

It doesn’t mean those things are truths or truisms. The abyss makes it difficult to see the sky; to believe other than what those bitter, brittle emotions spew.

People do heal; they are able to listen to different words and believe them. I’ve written a shadorma (the burying gown) and a tilus (the binding) for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge 112, thinking of the jagged emotion pain that rips me but leaves no signs upon my skin. How I feel/felt when the demon voices, howls, and whispers fill all the voids in my head and heart.

Tethered

image: Oleg Oprisco

burying gown

grief defines

all my boundaries

dead black dress

long-sleeved

corpse cloth entwines bloodied wrists

dried leaves suffuse red

shadorma: 3/5/3/3/7/5

 the binding

anguish agony

tethered to

me

tilus: 6/3/1

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10 thoughts on “tethered

  1. Oliana May 16, 2016 / 2:52 am

    Well said in forms that say so much in few words. Unfortunately the stats don’t surprise me with the work I do. The good thing is that many are reaching out and still so many do not have access to support. We are an anonymous service so more feel comfortable to be honest and we can find a thread…something they can hang onto for one more day…or more.

    Like

    • taleweavering May 16, 2016 / 8:42 am

      Yes, sometimes it’s an hour, a day at a time. Services like your organization offers are so important. Feeling alone and lost is so scary.

      Like

  2. wildchild47 May 12, 2016 / 4:56 pm

    Informative and very frightening stats – but definitely noteworthy. It’s so terrible that far too many people “fall through the cracks in the system” …. but I can understand. Understand how they end up believing it is the best possible place –

    and you’ve written 2 very powerful pieces – dark yes – but honest – a glimpse into what the darkest of pain and misery and hopelessness can feel like – and as we both know, there are no words really, that can describe or express feelings like that

    As Michael has said – I hope you are seeing more blue sky than darkest night, and that today is a better day, filled with more light and hope

    Like

    • taleweavering May 16, 2016 / 3:04 am

      Days each form their own imagines. One day, face wet with anguished tears, other times wondering about what flowers and bulbs to plant.
      The crisis isn’t over — the holes are still black and jagged. But, I can see the moon and stars some nights.
      I can’t think to far ahead of the current day — not yet. I’ve been writing, with no commitment or promises.
      So, we’ll see. See what today/tomorrow brings.
      Thanks for your continued supportive comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      • wildchild47 May 16, 2016 / 8:48 am

        One day and moment at a time – it’s definitely a good plan. And, of course, always wishing and hoping that there are more good days than darker.

        Like

  3. Michael May 12, 2016 / 1:57 am

    Its a scary statistic isn’t it that so many people in the world per day are at that point of no return…..you have given me much to ponder with this post….

    Like

    • taleweavering May 12, 2016 / 2:16 am

      Those are US stats. Here’s some global stats.
      *Over 800,000 people die by suicide every year. (WHO)
      •There is one death by suicide in the world every 40 seconds. (WHO)
      •Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-44 years. (WHO)
      •Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. (WHO)

      Doesn’t get any less scary.
      I don’t want to calculate how many will die between now and Suicide Day in September.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Michael May 12, 2016 / 2:18 am

        Yes very sobering numbers aren’t they…..hope you are doing ok today…

        Like

        • taleweavering May 16, 2016 / 3:07 am

          A day at a time. One day, hang in; another fall apart. Some nights I see millions of stars.
          Thanks for asking.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Michael May 16, 2016 / 3:31 am

            Take care and yes one day at a time….((hugs))

            Like

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