night/morning therapy #6:

I am grateful I forgot (on purpose?) a small part of my assignment. What do I like about myself. What’s okay about me.

I went on one of my long explanations of why I no longer possess some of my better qualities, my inactive life means less valid and value, and so on.

And I was always trying to be accepted and acceptable, fighting the evil gene (and bipolar/depression) so which were real, true soul-depth values or surface qualities.

Didn’t work. So, not only did I need to be grateful, I need to find bits of myself I like, am grateful for, good qualities and all that.

Aaarrrggghhh!

I like my warped sense of humour. Reminds me of my father, and silly times. Of the act of laughter – giving and receiving. Of laughing as a warm hug, winter’s duvet, summer’s sprinkler.

Grateful I have a therapist (as yet.) The same one off and on for a couple of years. I make her laugh which worries me at times. Should you make your therapist laugh? What is that a sign of?

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “night/morning therapy #6:

  1. wildchild47 June 28, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    It’s never easy to stop and consider what we like or appreciate about ourselves – and when you have so much going on, for so many reasons, it makes it all the harder.

    I totally “get that” bit about feeling “less than” because of not being as capable or able, because of your mobility issues etc. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

    As for the good bit you mentioned? Laughter? your sense of humour?

    From what I’ve seen of it – I think it’s truly wonderful. :)

    And you just have to hold on to that – keep that stored somewhere closer to the front of your mind, maybe? And maybe a “cheat” to help you with this – expand on the “laughter” aspect of yourself that you like – you know, in some way – because if you feel strongly well and good about your sense of humour, then thinking on it may help you see some other aspects within it – which may make it a cheat, of sorts, but anything to help get ya started and keep it going can’t be all that bad! ;)

    As for your therapist laughing from time to time?

    That’s okay – it means you are connecting on a more “human” – person to person level – not just as the therapist – patient/client or however you call it level. After all, therapists are people too – not just “points of knowledge, experience, etc. etc. as embodied by their diplomas, degrees, etc.”

    Like

  2. Shadeau June 27, 2016 / 11:14 pm

    LOVE Charlie B–and making your therapist laugh is okay, as long as therapy stops being “therapy” and becomes “entertainment” where you’re paying the audience. I say this because I did it for years….not very productive :)

    Like

    • taleweavering June 28, 2016 / 8:04 pm

      I figure she makes me cry often enough and she is one of the few people to see me cry since I swore I wouldn’t cry in public when I was around 6 or so.
      Not entertainment, not therapy (sometimes free) but a real live person to talk to who listens, tries to understand, doesn’t judge, and cares. That’s worth the price of admission for me. Sorry your years of therapy weren’t productive.

      Like

      • Shadeau June 28, 2016 / 8:18 pm

        I’m very glad that yours is much more satisfying.

        Like

        • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 8:06 am

          Only been to 2 that were the least bit helpful. Other therapists/shrinks were crazier than I am.

          Like

          • Shadeau June 29, 2016 / 4:55 pm

            See, that’s the scary (and sometimes tragic) part–no way of really knowing if someone’s going to be “good”…or crazier than us… :) I had a woman for a brief time who had potential to really help me–but there were financial/insurance issues…and then her cancer returned…all too sad.

            Like

            • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 6:14 pm

              That is a sad story. I had a good therapist, but then in an odd twist, she became extremely friendly with a good friend of mine. Neither knew each other well before. So, we stopped, and I was moving so it wasn’t such a big issue.

              Like

I love dialogue. Do you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s