night/morning therapy #6:

I am grateful I forgot (on purpose?) a small part of my assignment. What do I like about myself. What’s okay about me.

I went on one of my long explanations of why I no longer possess some of my better qualities, my inactive life means less valid and value, and so on.

And I was always trying to be accepted and acceptable, fighting the evil gene (and bipolar/depression) so which were real, true soul-depth values or surface qualities.

Didn’t work. So, not only did I need to be grateful, I need to find bits of myself I like, am grateful for, good qualities and all that.


I like my warped sense of humour. Reminds me of my father, and silly times. Of the act of laughter – giving and receiving. Of laughing as a warm hug, winter’s duvet, summer’s sprinkler.

Grateful I have a therapist (as yet.) The same one off and on for a couple of years. I make her laugh which worries me at times. Should you make your therapist laugh? What is that a sign of?


10 thoughts on “night/morning therapy #6:

  1. wildchild47 June 28, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    It’s never easy to stop and consider what we like or appreciate about ourselves – and when you have so much going on, for so many reasons, it makes it all the harder.

    I totally “get that” bit about feeling “less than” because of not being as capable or able, because of your mobility issues etc. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

    As for the good bit you mentioned? Laughter? your sense of humour?

    From what I’ve seen of it – I think it’s truly wonderful. :)

    And you just have to hold on to that – keep that stored somewhere closer to the front of your mind, maybe? And maybe a “cheat” to help you with this – expand on the “laughter” aspect of yourself that you like – you know, in some way – because if you feel strongly well and good about your sense of humour, then thinking on it may help you see some other aspects within it – which may make it a cheat, of sorts, but anything to help get ya started and keep it going can’t be all that bad! ;)

    As for your therapist laughing from time to time?

    That’s okay – it means you are connecting on a more “human” – person to person level – not just as the therapist – patient/client or however you call it level. After all, therapists are people too – not just “points of knowledge, experience, etc. etc. as embodied by their diplomas, degrees, etc.”


  2. Shadeau June 27, 2016 / 11:14 pm

    LOVE Charlie B–and making your therapist laugh is okay, as long as therapy stops being “therapy” and becomes “entertainment” where you’re paying the audience. I say this because I did it for years….not very productive :)


    • taleweavering June 28, 2016 / 8:04 pm

      I figure she makes me cry often enough and she is one of the few people to see me cry since I swore I wouldn’t cry in public when I was around 6 or so.
      Not entertainment, not therapy (sometimes free) but a real live person to talk to who listens, tries to understand, doesn’t judge, and cares. That’s worth the price of admission for me. Sorry your years of therapy weren’t productive.


      • Shadeau June 28, 2016 / 8:18 pm

        I’m very glad that yours is much more satisfying.


        • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 8:06 am

          Only been to 2 that were the least bit helpful. Other therapists/shrinks were crazier than I am.


          • Shadeau June 29, 2016 / 4:55 pm

            See, that’s the scary (and sometimes tragic) part–no way of really knowing if someone’s going to be “good”…or crazier than us… :) I had a woman for a brief time who had potential to really help me–but there were financial/insurance issues…and then her cancer returned…all too sad.


            • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 6:14 pm

              That is a sad story. I had a good therapist, but then in an odd twist, she became extremely friendly with a good friend of mine. Neither knew each other well before. So, we stopped, and I was moving so it wasn’t such a big issue.


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