night/morning therapy #7: dreads

I’ve been dreading this installment. I have to be both grateful and find something I like about myself on a day I don’t like myself very much. No special reason. Just sleep deprived and depraved. Body off sync; mind off sync like the original Star Trek episode where the people on the planet operated at a faster pace than humans. So they were hums and buzzes standing next to “normal” humans. Kirk sped up so he could communicate with them. I feel like I’m moving in a different sync that usual. A 1/2 note off the piano strings. A fraction; probably a nano-fraction that feels like a mega-shift.

Grateful? More and more I’m taking the train to appointments, and not needing a ride. Some of the swelling/edema is down. I wrote a lot again today. (this could be a ‘but’ statement, but I will restrain myself).

As to my self-like (slow baby steps this time, self-love will come sometime), I am fairly well organized for Dr. visits. I type up an agenda, or list of symptoms, list of questions with a copy for the dr. Bring med bottles and/or list of prescription meds and over the counter products reflecting any changes, paper work, that sorta stuff. Not so good to

Getting closer to a selfie that I might actually post. Not sure where that fits – random thought.

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9 thoughts on “night/morning therapy #7: dreads

  1. Sheri June 29, 2016 / 10:05 am

    You did well. Gave me something to think about for myself.

    Like

    • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 1:21 pm

      I’m glad. When I do these public/private thought pieces I never know if I just sound egotistical — there I go, judging. This is going to be a long trip.
      It’s nice to know that what I say makes sense to others as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Shadeau June 29, 2016 / 4:05 am

    Self-like is all I can manage on good days–but I did take a giant step in posting my real (with cosmetics) photo as header image….that was huge, and I’m still patting myself on the back that I didn’t take it down hours later :) You’re doing well, Phylor–seems to me :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 8:08 am

      I noticed and am very impressed. That is so big a step. And the picture is wonderful!
      I have used younger self pictures, and can’t quite tell pictures. Last 2 years really aged me I’m afraid. I didn’t have a camera for 3 — 4 years, so didn’t have the “proof” of the aging process.

      Like

      • Shadeau June 29, 2016 / 4:53 pm

        Thank you, Phylor–I’m glad you like my picture…I was excited to acquire a new laptop with webcam. It’s certainly not like a professional photographer, but did an adequate job for me–perhaps better, for the “airbrushed” (blurry) effect! Honestly, I’ve not aged well–if you saw me right this minute, you’d think the pic is not me at all. But it’s rather miraculous that each day when I open to my blog and see myself, I actually smile. Progress–we’ll take anything we can get, right? :) Wishing you all the BEST today!

        Liked by 1 person

        • taleweavering June 29, 2016 / 6:12 pm

          That is wonderful — that you can smile at yourself is a big step forward!

          Like

          • Shadeau June 29, 2016 / 7:21 pm

            It’s pretty remarkable…I still can’t believe it. I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror–but when I look at the blog pic, maybe I’m seeing the “real” me…? :) We can do this, my friend–get to liking and loving ourselves, no matter how long it takes :)

            Like

            • taleweavering June 30, 2016 / 9:34 am

              Could be the real you — the you that others see, the you that glows inside, the you that is captured in a moment that brings a smile.

              Like

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