This is a combination m/n therapy: the 4th and the 5th, July: too tired and achy to properly handle each.
On the 4th, went for another walk; this time to the local park. I took some pictures of wildflowers. Nice to see these pesky perennials dazzle year to year.
In the garden, triaging some seeds and plants. Dirt still under my nails. Metaphor for life: as much as a I scrub and cleanse, like dirt under my finger nails, there is always some trace of what was. Something soothing, tho, in messing in the garden. Clear positive mind rule.
5th was a dread day. Limits concentration and focus. Meds to try and break glass walls of panic. Unsettled dread. No focus. Brought myself down with difficulty. Still the body slam feeling deep in chest. Not heart issue, worry issues. Still shaking on the inside. Like the proverbial blender on puree. Trying to hang in there – my coping mechanism: a nap.
So, I’m grateful for wild flowers and dirt. I think it’s perseverance in terms of self-like. Still struggling with editing program. Text is only one size: nano. Aarrgghh. But I keep at it. My goal is to do those lovely “posters” of quotes and thoughts layered on. Even if I have to get an app to use an app.