Madame Tussaud’s Funeral Parlour

Salvatore Dali: The Butterfly Ship

The simple fact

you are dead means

I must be more alive

Bear your waxen image

Sit with your spiritless body

Drag your mother off the coffin

as she cries “Take me. Take me.”

Be the rock for your drowning wife

once settled

a place of your own

bonsai trim

weeds to pull

time spent in your company

I talk, you listen

A shadorma summation about a very hard time in my life. I had been reconciled with my father for about 10 years when he died unexpectedly. It set off a chain of events that, 25 years later, I’m still trying to deal with. There have been other painful, gut-kicking experiences, (before and since) but I’ve been thinking of him a lot this year. I miss going to his grave and having long conversations.

For B & P’s Shadorma & Beyond: desperately sad moment – to cope I was competent (and drank white wine)

© taleweavering phylor, 2016


22 thoughts on “Madame Tussaud’s Funeral Parlour

  1. Bastet August 2, 2016 / 3:21 am

    Splendid write Phylor … the poem pulls the reader into this mysterious emotional maelstrom … thanks for sharing these feelings of your Dad with us – I hope the wine was sweet and left no hangover or I’ll feel terribly guilty! Warm hugs to you and hope you are well.


    • taleweavering August 2, 2016 / 9:24 pm

      No hang-over, and warm hugs to you as well. Your shadorma summation was bittersweet and powerful.


      • Bastet August 25, 2016 / 3:10 am

        Thanks Phylor … wow how time passes quickly … but I’m back home now and I just have to put things back into order and I’ll be writing again full-time. I just read your piece about Dr. Teagarten … intriguing.


        • taleweavering August 25, 2016 / 2:14 pm

          I may have created, accidently, an ongoing evil character — usually I create flawed heroes.


          • Bastet August 26, 2016 / 3:10 am

            Hmmm … maybe not – unless that’s how you want to keep that character – authors have divine powers you know ;-)


  2. any1mark66 August 1, 2016 / 8:18 pm

    You have worked in some layers here. Nice feeling for a terrible subject. Of course, the Dali image is always appreciated.


    • taleweavering August 2, 2016 / 9:26 pm

      It was a new image for me — there is always something new and surprising to discover about Dali.

      Liked by 1 person

      • any1mark66 August 2, 2016 / 11:41 pm

        If you ever find yourself near Tampa, Florida they have a Dali museum! Tons of original works including a hologram of Alice Cooper


        • taleweavering August 3, 2016 / 12:42 am

          Wow — Alice Cooper I had some Alice Cooper records, and a hologram would be just too much. I know people in Florida . . . . . .

          Liked by 1 person

          • any1mark66 August 3, 2016 / 12:49 am

            I’ve been there! It’s a three to four hour visit if you like to dwell on things… Oh yeah, you’ll be there all day. Awesome place.


  3. Shadeau July 31, 2016 / 2:07 pm

    I can appreciate the resurfacing of “stuff”–even as you write the most beautiful poetry, remembering… I think you and Yves are best at this kind of writing.


    • taleweavering July 31, 2016 / 8:57 pm

      Thank you. I had a breakdown after being my mother’s caregiver — if I hadn’t had my dad to go talk to in the cemetery, it would have been much sooner. I want/need/have to let go of the past, and they only way I know is to write about it.
      Thank you for the wonderful compliment. To be considered with Yves in anything is very high praise to me.


      • Shadeau July 31, 2016 / 11:12 pm

        I’m trying to write out my past too–I was going to do a memoir, but got overwhelmed… The term I heard recently which is clearly what I experience is, “repetitive memories”–they’re a daily issue, triggered by literally anything, and sting like wasps. I swear that I don’t deliberately pick scabs or dig things up–I don’t need, or want to. As you know, I’m a woman of strong faith in God–and it was very reassuring when He said to me a couple days ago, “You did not imagine the significant ongoing abuse–it was real”. After so many poor responses–either from professionals or friends–I still have moments when I doubt myself, that it “wasn’t that bad”. But it was, and continues to cripple me some days.

        I sincerely meant what I said about you and Yves–and I expected that you would receive it well :) I often wish that I wrote as searingly well as you both do–with such subtle artistry–but I confess I’m too lazy to work at the craft; I just don’t have the energy any more.


        • taleweavering July 31, 2016 / 11:35 pm

          I think you’re too hard on yourself about your writing. Part of the pattern of not being appreciated, abused, whatever. You write from your heart and soul — if it’s raw, it’s raw — some stuff if meant to be that way.
          I easily get overwhelmed and thus don’t finish projects. Why not think of it as vignettes — small stories of x number of words. I write in the 3rd person because sometimes it’s easier to say she than me.
          My triggers are constant as my trauma is the trauma of everyday life so it’s hard to avoid. Believe yourself. I think of it as a hierarchy of tears — the “well I wasn’t sexually abused so . . .” but as my therapist says, I was traumatized in other ways, ways that are just as hard to heal and recover. I have a huge wound, and every day, I am reminded that it’s there.
          If God spoke to you about it, listen. You and he have a dialogue.
          So start small. A vignette of a repetitive memory — in the 3rd person if you like.
          You have a story to tell. Let it ring out. Now I’ll stop my rant. :)


          • Shadeau August 1, 2016 / 1:45 am

            Thank you, as always, for your support, Phylor. Though I’ve tried the 3rd-person voice, I always feel like people know it’s me–so who am I kidding; it’s tough being vulnerable–and trying to be “artistic” at the same time :) My abuse was full spectrum–but the message was always, “you don’t know how good you’ve got it, lots of people are in worse shape/situations”–so it takes time to accept what’s real, and go from there. Unfortunately a lot of “the Church” has not been kind, nor effective in helping abuse survivors heal. Forgiveness can’t come till we stop pushing all the bad down deep–and let it out in the sunlight/Son and fresh air to heal. So, God’s words to me recently were truly balm to my soul. I will get “there”, be an Overcomer through ‘n through–if I can just give myself time and be patient. Though I love being solitary, there are scary days sometimes–when I just want to be “done”…and wander awfully close to the edge. But I’ve been declaring that this is another significant year for me–making progress; and honestly, the victories seem all the sweeter when I have to make that progress alone. As I think I’ve said before–we have to just clutch the “strong” days close, and believe in the hope they offer that it’s going to keep getting better. And wow, I am rambling tonight….have you ever noticed that when you’re totally exhausted it’s kind of a blessing, because you’re literally too tired to think about all the “stuff”? Okay, I’m done–thanks for EVERYTHING!


      • Shadeau July 31, 2016 / 11:18 pm

        PS: I forgot something I wanted to remark about–that it’s fascinating to me that you drew strength/comfort from speaking to your dad in the cemetery, after you’d apparently had deep issues with him, and then a reconciliation. I don’t need to know all the details, but I think this was a phenomenal gift of blessing. Wish we lived next door so we could sit down for long hours of sharing… it’s impossible to do online. But please know that I have great respect and admiration for you, and I pay attention to what you write–in hopes of gleaning something that will “work” for me. And I hope you don’t hear that as a weakness of my faith necessarily–I always tell people that faith is not a magic wand…it is a “glorious mystery”, part of the general and specific mystery that is life. <3


        • taleweavering July 31, 2016 / 11:40 pm

          Faith is how we experience it. “Glorious mystery” is a wonderous way to describe it. Spirituality flows through us, some, like you have to ability to feel God’s presence and hear his voice. So I see no weakness in your faith. Expressing weaknesses is much better than being so sure all is strength if that makes any sense.
          Sharing on line is difficult. It’s a private conversation held in front of millions of people (0r potentially so). But conversation at this level is better than no conversation at all.


          • Shadeau August 1, 2016 / 1:31 am

            Thank you–I so agree that it’s better than none at all–YES! <3 And who knows–maybe someone reads an exchange between strangers and it saves their life in some way…


            • taleweavering August 1, 2016 / 2:03 pm

              It happens — people find out they are not alone. There are others who feel as they do. Realizing you are not alone is so empowering. . .


              • Shadeau August 1, 2016 / 6:12 pm

                It really is, because isolation can kill.


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