confessions: no purpose

My therapist asked this week what I thought my purpose was – that people are supposed to have purposes. And, I had to say “I don’t know that I do any more” in a weepy way, not a suicidal way. My purposes found me, even if they didn’t last, I never sought them out. These last few years, I’ve looked for a purpose – latched on to something for awhile and then . . . . . purposeless again.

It’s a conundrum for someone who believes we are each born with a purpose; but do we ever know what that is. Am I purposeless now because the hands that guided me, abandoned me, or am I frightened and fighting them. No more gut-kicks, no more purposes.

Can I live without a purpose – again metaphorically? When I was pushed towards a purpose, or was chosen by one, did I fail because the purpose was pulled away? How much responsibility need I take for being purposeless now.

Does purpose come from the heart, the spirit, the soul? Has my void, my black-hole wound sucked all these in.

If a purpose does not come for me, what do I do? Seek it out? Live without one. Manufacture one.

Or just be purposeless. Can you enjoy life without a purpose? What do purposeless people do?

Unless, those guiding hands appear, or a purpose calls for me, I guess I’ll stumble along and find out what purposeless folks do.

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3 thoughts on “confessions: no purpose

  1. All 4 Above March 23, 2017 / 9:59 pm

    In my life I have found that the only explanation for purpose is found in a creator. You as a human being are far to complex and think far to great of thoughts to not have been created by creator. Seek that Creator and you will find your purpose in this finite life that we have been gifted with.

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  2. AnxietySupportWeb September 3, 2016 / 6:31 pm

    I believe my purpose is to help others who are suffering with anxiety/depression because I have personal experience with those issues. Maybe instead of thinking of a purpose you could look to do something that brings meaning to your life? I know purpose and meaning are similar concepts but it may help if you break it down into smaller steps so it doesn’t seem like such a big question. I have realized that my suffering has been the greatest source of meaning in my life. I hope this helps your thought process. All the best
    Joel

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    • taleweavering September 4, 2016 / 10:42 am

      Thank you, Joel, for your thoughtful comment. It is a way to see if I can relocate the center, the grounding we all need of a reason to be, a purpose, a daily mantra for our lives.

      Liked by 1 person

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