After blogging here from fall 2009 to 2016 as phylor, finally reaching an unheard of for me, number of followers and views, I stopped. I had been here as phylor too long, drifting. Still feeling on the outside.
Going through a strong emotional and life-defying crisis when the medications didn’t keep me stable, the antidepressants made me more depressed, and my body rebelled in a thousand ways. The prompting duties, like any duty, responsibility or task became too much and I bowed out to a gracious co-host. Who took me back, on spec, when I felt stronger later.
The followers didn’t follow, but I no longer pay attention to stats. I have gotten over stats and comments jealousy unless I’m fully encased in my bipolarsphere.
I shifted to another blog, as stated, to blend with a second personae who was not so separate at times – I’m not good at such things – and technologically had become increasingly difficult to keep apart. With variations, I blogged, still as a pseudo – not yet ready to reveal any more of myself. Oh, I spill my guts obviously and between the lines, keep up the pretense there is a veil before my face.
Then, in participating in an on-going challenge, the moderator asked what the heck to call me, I took a deep breath and said, “Lorraine.” One step closer to me. One layer of that veil removed.
I dance with my bubble maker on the lawn at times – or try too. Guess now it’s the dance of the six veils . . . .